If ‘single’ has ever found itself as your relationship status for a prolonged period of time, then the enrapturing grasp of loneliness may be a familiar feeling. While it’s certainly not the case for all, many of us can attest to that longing for connection.
As someone who embraced her single status for years, even I find myself looking back on the few moments where loneliness held me. An empty companion that crept its way into the room on the most unsuspecting of occasions, weighing on the soul with the forlorn it carries. For some, it is merely a visitor who intrudes on a handful of moments. For others, a lasting presence that’s found a home in their spirit.
What causes loneliness?
A theme that I continue to see rear its head time and time again, is the attachment of feeling lonely, to being without a romantic partner. And the truth in how to overcome the loneliness of being single may be a hard pill to swallow.
Loneliness stems from a deep lack of connection, and its remedy is often sought out externally. But feeling lonely has nothing to do with you being single, and everything to do with your relationship with yourself. Your loneliness isn’t the consequence of your lack of romantic connection with another, but is the result of your lack of connection with yourself. Simply put, you have not found the joy in your own company.
Tasting the sweetest fruits of this life is to find contentment in one’s self. To water your garden so much so that if someone were to peer into the depths of your soul, they would lay their eyes on the Garden of Eden itself, blooming within you.
It is my belief that you come to the end of your single journey in one of two mindsets. Either you’re fed up with being single, itching to finally have someone to hold. Or, you are in a space of utter peace with whether or not a soulmate is written in your stars.
Frankly, the last thing you want to do is get into a relationship from a place of loneliness. No partner can fill a cup that can only be watered by you, nor should they bear that burden.
How to be okay with being single
Date yourself. Take yourself out to the restaurants that come alive at night with candlelight, take a leap by travelling abroad solo, become ritualistic in a routine dedicated to you, and love yourself as any partner would.
Compose a list of the things you seek from the one who you’d want to call your own, and give those things to yourself. Remove the notion that you must wait for another, and fall in love with taking care of yourself. Shine your brightest light onto your loneliness and watch its grip loosen from your soul.
Ultimately, the answer to how to overcome the loneliness of being single is one that lives within. Searching for peace in the arms of another is a fruitless endeavour. So wonder this Earth with the ability to say that you truly sat with yourself, and liked the soul that you met.
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