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How To Find Closure

Woman in Sydney CBD.

Inflicted by death, an argument, a breakup or just the natural drifting of two souls, at some point or another, we all seek the sweet release of closure.

Life throws us into the depths of love, and once in a while, that love is ripped away from us. Sometimes it isn’t love at all, sometimes, it’s nothing more than detaching from a connection that was only ever meant for a season of your life. However, the cliché states that closure requires a conversation, and I wholeheartedly disagree. In the case of a loved one passing, the option of one last goodbye might cease to exist.

So, I offer a path that allows you to gently bid farewell to a soul without needing to utter another word.

Here’s how to find closure without contact

Get yourself a fresh pen and a whole lot of paper. Now, I want you to simply write this person a letter. 

You’re going to transfer everything that is — and was — in your soul onto the page. This letter asks only one thing of you, to be unapologetically raw and completely unfiltered. There is no need to soften your emotions, or leave thoughts out in fear of one’s reaction. Leave no thought unturned, no feeling unwritten. 

By placing your inner world onto paper, you’re taking that grief, guilt, anger, sadness or frustration, and releasing it out into the universe. You are lifting, and freeing it from your soul. 

Write untethered, knowing this letter is never going to be sent. You may be wondering, if there’s no intention of posting it, what’s the point in writing it? True closure isn’t something that is obtained from another, but is created from within. It lies in one’s own palm. The truth of life is simply this. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can certainly pave our own reactions. And, it’s my belief that the universe, in some way, will send them that message.

Furthermore, if the chance arose to see this person, it’s unlikely you’d have the opportunity to speak unbounded — to set your thoughts free in the same way. 

When you find the ink has inscribed every inch of your soul, fold up your letter and find it a home out of sight, out of mind. And if those emotions find their way back to the forefront of your subconscious, return to your letter. Read it over, read it aloud — until one day, you find that door has softly shut. 

READ MORE: What I Learnt From People Who No Longer Serve Me

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