So you’ve learnt how to set the standard for your love life, but how do you go about scoring the right one? This week’s blog post isn’t a step-by-step guide on how to find the right man (unfortunately I don’t possess those sorts of powers) but it does take you through how to attract the man you want.
Now I’m very well aware of how cliche this is going to sound…but what’s manifesting in your outer sphere is a direct reflection of your inner one.
Here’s what I want you to do. Take a look at all the men who have entered into your romantic life. What do they all have in common? I guarantee when you start to search into where it went wrong, you start to find a pattern.
This can be anything from daddy issues (a fabulous example) to the classic commitment phobia. In my case, I was attracting the type of guy who I knew I wasn’t going to end up with – but why?
It never quite added up. I was always set on finding myself a relationship but kept ending up with the same type of man. When I really looked, I found that they all had an immaculate inability to communicate and a resistance to commitment.
The next step is the hardest, but it also brings the most freedom. The key is to dig deep within yourself, these fellas aren’t entering your life by coincidence. They’re here because on some level you’re sending out the same vibration. It’s just a matter of figuring out exactly what that is.
For some of you, it might also be a commitment phobia lurking beneath the surface. No matter the reason, a good look within yourself should result in you finding that external pattern, within. We create our realities, from who enters our lives to that which we put up with. With a little bit of detective work, you should be able to find the root of all those disappointments.
Acknowledging the pattern within is the second step, healing it is the third. Coming face to face with your pattern is no easy feat. Take your time, invest in a journal and start putting pen to paper. It’s only then that you can start to get the ball rolling and attract the right man. And how exactly is this done you may ask?
In my post about setting high standards, I spoke of noting the attributes that your dream partner would possess – the things that would allow you to have a successful relationship. Think long, think hard. Maybe you need someone who is an excellent communicator? Is empathetic, independent or authentic? No matter what makes it onto your list, you above all, need to honour it. By that, I mean going out into the world every day and bringing those characteristics to fruition.
Perfection is not the requirement, but practising gets you pretty damn close. By giving the world the things you desire most, it naturally sends them back. Our lives are merely a reflection of who we are and in the case of how to attract the man you want? You’ve simply got to go out there and start repainting the canvas.
At the end of the day, that’s the beauty of it all. Nothing is set in stone and that fabric is constantly being painted over with new people and experiences as life goes on. It’s just a matter of being brave enough to reach for the paintbrush.