Coined the “almost relationship”, the situationship takes the new generation by storm. Join me as I explore the most obvious signs that you’re in a bewildering situationship.
The internet defines it as, “a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established”. Frankly, this reads to me as casual dating or just the bog-standard friends with benefits. But the situationship is a little more specific, it’s reserved for those who want a relationship but are stuck in the murky waters of the in-between. I call it the waiting room of the dating game. Does the dating sphere really have the space for this? And why on Earth have we made things so damn complicated?
I tend to see a lot of frustration when it comes to this agenda. So, these are the situationship signs to keep your eye out for.
1. So, what are you guys?
It’s the question that brings the situationship right into the blinding spotlight. Curious friends who are eager to decipher the latest addition to your life. Simply put, if you have to pause to ponder before you answer, you’re probably in a situationship. For the record, this applies once you’re well and truly seeing each other. Not while you’re just messaging during the talking stage. On that note, are people still staying up well past reasonable hours because the conversation has swept them away?
I digress. If you’ve been seeing someone for more than a few weeks, and the explanation of what you are is a lengthy one when asked about it, well I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
2. You’ve got Houdini on your hands
Harry Houdini may have only performed a disappearing act once in his career, your love interest shouldn’t be attempting one at all. I cannot stress this enough. Insert a situationship label here if they disappear into thin air for a short period of time, without offering you an explanation.
The fact of life is, our phones are almost always on us. What are the chances they haven’t had access to their phone in three days? Minimal.
I’m taking a moment here to say that red flags do not come any brighter. Do not fall for the excuses that tend to be whipped up when they miraculously return — no matter how creative they get or how sorry they are. I can almost guarantee, it won’t be the last.
Life is an elixir of good and bad. In the event that something truly earth-shattering has happened, may I suggest a brief message that outlines why they won’t be around in the next little while? In my humble opinion, this shows exactly where you fit into this person’s life.
3. Can you call them your boyfriend or girlfriend?
This has to be the quickest and surest way of knowing what’s up. If you’re always seeing each other (again, beyond the talking phase), but calling them your partner feels weird…well I hate to break it to you. Does calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend to your inner social circle feel premature or off, even though you’ve been seeing them for months? If the answer to that question is yes, a situationship is exactly what you’re in.
But the peak of my curiosity sits in the following. How did the situationship come to be? What created such a useless phenomenon? And what is its purpose? The answer to the latter is that there isn’t one.
It’s simply the love child of commitment-phobia culture and a lack of communication. If any of the above applies to you, all hope is not lost. Remove the confusion and situationship status by throwing the question out there. A response defined by blurred lines is probably someone who isn’t worth much more of your time, onto better things. On the other hand, you could get the response you’ve been looking for. It’s what I like to call a win-win.