The Oxford Dictionary defines the word selfish as, “a person, action or motive that lacks consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.”
Merriam-Webster sings to a similar tune, suggesting someone who is excessively or exclusively concerned with themselves.
But the excessiveness isn’t specifically defined. And what word describes someone who only uses selfishness for their inner peace?
More importantly, what happens when we are void of this emotion altogether? Is there space where selfishness can exist within us without going to the defined extreme?
When I say one should “learn to be selfish”, I don’t mean it in the way of borderline narcissism and total disregard for others. Because we know how fun those people are to be around — insert major eye roll here. I’m proposing the idea of selective selfishness. Bear with me on this.
The perfect world sees humanity rid of selfishness and greed, but humans are inclusive of imperfection. So, we occasionally need to choose ourselves and I refuse to believe that this makes someone selfish.
For the preservation of sanity and soul, I’m of the belief that we require just a pinch of selfishness. Metaphorically speaking, think of the amount of salt you would add to a cake batter. Small enough that it makes you question its inclusion but just enough to make a difference to the result. And its purpose? To protect your soul from the people whose batters host more salt than sugar.
I overlap momentarily with my thoughts on having a backbone. It merely comes back to prioritising your peace.
I leave you with this. Learn to be selfish with your time and your energy. Selfishness should only ever be reserved for the things that you can’t ever get back in life. Be gorgeously generous with everything else.